I am not naive.
I am not ignorant.
I am neither dumb nor numb.
I’m just blinded by the happiness that lies before my eyes.
I’ve become so selfish.
I have hurt you.
I have made you fooled.
How could I?
How did you?
How come I haven’t heard any complain?
How we’re you able to bear the pain?
How could you love me when all I ever do is hurt you?
I should have taken a chance to know you, to hear you out. You should have said something. I was torn between the idea of maybe you do, or maybe you don’t.
…You should have said something.
They say “you love
me”,
You say “No, I definitely don’t”
What was I to believe?
I’ve known you all my life, but that was what I thought…
You speak of words by your mouth and you silently die inside.
Now…
I am naïve…
I am ignorant…
I am dumb and numb…
And all I could ever do is feel sorry.
And wonder..
What if?
What will?
After all the things that happened..
Between the years that your still there until your gone..
I began to ask..
Should I chose you over him back then?
I have chosen him but..
But he had hurt me in so many ways??
If it was you that I had came to love, would you be like him?
Will you hurt me like the way he did?
Would you still love my flaws?
Will you chose to stay??
You have stayed long enough while suffering..
The one I chose had me at my best,
But he always gave in at difficult times,
He is hurting me in all possible ways,
Yes I’ve hurt him, but he tripled the pain back..
It was unbearable,
It hunts me day and night..
A nightmare that is real and existing.
I was so sure of him back then, I don’t have hunches, doubts, or fears. I’ve trusted him too much, without even noticing that I’ve shown him only the best part of me, that is why it was too much for him to take the real me. The usual selfish brat, that I used to be.
You’ve seen my worst, and I keep on hurting you over and over again, but you chose to love me.
Was your love greater?
Was your love the one I should have chosen??
I was fooled by his charms, and still am.
But still the question that lingers within my mind and heart is…
What if???
