ALmOsT

If you love someone, you should never, ever let that person go. You must learn how to fight for that love. You must take risks--so that you'll have no regrets later on. You shouldn't be scared of the ‘what-ifs'. I learned my lesson the hard way. I let go of the man that I love--truly love. I let go of the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. Why? I got scared. I am a good friend, better others may say. I always want my friends to be happy, even if I look so dumb and crazy, as long as I could make them smile. I want everyone around me to be happy.. But..

There's a difference between making people around you happy--making your friends happy, your family, your neighbors--and making someone special and dear to your heart happy. And that's where I failed.
I was able to make him happy. But what I'm afraid of, is--how long would I be able to do that? What if in the future, he gets tired of me? What if, I am not able to make him smile the way I did before. I feel so useless at that moment, thinking of the ‘what–ifs’. I mean, I was created for a special purpose, and that is to cheer up people, my friends, family, etc. But what if I fail? So, I let him go. I told him to stop. And that is the most stupid thing I have ever done in my life, that I know I will still regret in the future.
I tried my hardest to win him back. I couldn't just sit down, and do nothing for the guy I love. I went to him, asked him for a chance to start over. I promised that if ever we would be together again, I would never leave him, I would never push him away, I would do my hardest to keep him, I would always make him laugh, smile, and be happy. I would love and understand him. I asked him to give me a second chance, and forget all the things I've said in the past...

But..His feelings faded the moment I told him to stop. Just like a tiny little crab, washed away by the waves on the shore.

Gone...

I know in time, “pain” would just be a word. My heart would heal-But those happy memories that we shared together would always remain in my heart. If ever he would come back to me, I promise I would never let him go. Ever again. Never. 

Lessons learned, but it was too late. You only know the value of a person when he is gone.

I love him.

I really do.

He would always have a special place in my heart. 

What I feel for him is true, innocent and eternal. 

But I want him to be happy.

I want him to find that special girl, or his special purpose in life, that he may fulfill his need for lasting happiness.

Then, somehow I could be happy. I have to be-because he already is.

I love him...

-niniH