I am dead.

And I had the most eccentric, psychotic, paranoid, demented, insane, bloody, gory dream or should I say nightmare? But not really.

I don't really know the inception but the very first incident I remembered was when I missed to visit a funeral of my friend's father. Since I missed it, I wanted to visit it myself and asked a friend of mine to accompany me but it was already nightime. And so we decided not to go anymore.

Change of scene.

There was a party at my friend's house, and the sun was about to shine, so we decided to jog outside the area.

Change of scene.

We were headed to a spacious field, and there was this little girl climbing towards a tower. A distant voice said "answer the riddle or this girl die!" And as I look back at the girl, a rope was tied around her neck and she was hanging but she wasn't struggling like the normal way a human should be while being hanged from a rope. And so the questions goes on and we were able to answer it. And the little girl was freed.

Change of scene.

I decided to be far from that field. So I take a step outside. I just keep on walking until I don't know where I'm heading to. And then I found two friend of mine with the guy I used to like. Didn't even realize why that guy was with them. My friend start talking, "why are you here, you could have texted us so we could have a walk with you". They were heading towards the field. My friend leading us the way took a wrong turn. I told them we were supposed to go right at the first corner. But they didn't listen and so there was a dead end.

There was a bridge, a huge one. And underneath it was a poisonous chemical that seems to be producing a very foul odor. So we ran and headed back to where we came from.

(and so the most scariest part started from here)

We were late and was about to perform on stage. But we were accompanied to stay at a certain room. I heard noises from the outside. And we figured out that we're trapped. They were about to tortured us to death.

so we decided that we'd rather commit suicide than be tortured. Since we would be dead anyway. There is no way out. The whole place is a trap. So we headed to the kitchen. We got ourselves knives. Then we went back to our room. We form a triangle in the bed. We aligned the knife to our neck. For the last time we looked at each other and smile then lacerate our necks. Bloods were dripping from my two friend (for the fact that I really don't know their faces). Mine? I stand up, face the mirror and found out that my knife is not sharp enough that it produces only scratches. My friend's life was about to end and I'm still alive. And the tortured was nearing. So I decided to stab my neck. Once, there were blood starting to flow. Twice, more blood. But no, that doesn't stop there. I felt my heart. It was still beating. Blood from my throat was about to stop. I'm still alive. One or two seconds the life of my friends were done. So I stab my heart. First stab, second stab, then the third stab. I can't feel anything. Before I close my eyes. I knew, I smiled.


:'c

I died. In my dream, I died.
Or in reality. A part of me died.
I felt that very moment relief from all the pain.
From there I had my freedom.
I even managed to have that one last smile.

My dream could have a lot of meanings. That was my maybe my mind and heart trying to speak or fight? I maybe was bothered for the longest time. I may have this feelings that were kept hidden for a long time and only in my dreams they could be heard. It may suggest that it is better to face the consequences or reality or it suggests that it is better to end one situation and get it done with.

There's a lot to it than just being a dream. It's a part of me. But whatever it means. I know, it wanted something for me to learn or something to realize. And whatever it is we don't know, I don't know...

yet.

-the end-