i don't want this to be an online diary because clearly I have my planner given by Paul. >:P< but wasn't been writing on it for a long time now :3
but since my work is done, I might as well create a new post.
He texted me last, last night the words "Good night rhin i love you".
And I thought that would be his last words to me.
I didn't respond to the message. Because I don't know what to say.. I love him and yes he knew that, I'm not afraid to tell him I love him, but in response of him telling me those words I can't.. I can't exchange I love yous..:'c
I miss him so much, I tried to control myself, not to text him at all.. and it was really hard, the moment I got home, I cried myself to sleep.. hoping when I wake up, the pain would just disappear.
I'm planning on avoiding him. So that I can start to move on. I mean all the things I planned on happening would be all wasted. :/ And I'll be back to being selfish again. If I distant myself from him, he would get over me right? But I can't because I told him, I'll be a friend to him. So how can a friend be a friend if she is distant? hais..
and then i got a message later after noon..
saying he hope i was fine and that I wasn't ignoring him..
but the truth is, I really am ignoring him.. and it's killing me..
I tried to lie, and say no..
but at the end I admitted it..
the exchange of message goes on and on and on..
and words came out "t*ng*n* i miss you"
"ikaw ang gusto ko tapos"
and they were like words spoken from the heart, saying enough talk, i love you.. and that's all he knows..
We did see each other before I go to work..
and I was a bit cold at first, I don't want to hold hands nor kiss..
and his reactions were kinda funny though..
specially when we unloaded his motor and i said "kiss me" while putting my lips closer to him..
and when he was about to do so.. i turned my back.. and he was like "i hate you!"
and i was walking away smiling :))
then we had dinner and he said he wants ice cream.. so we did buy one..
and then the day ends..
without us discussing what would really happen to us..
I told him it's over.. but we're acting like it is not..
but soon we know that it would never really work out.
